Sidenotes of coming back

 We use to leave places, cities, countries, people, smells and tastes - but till now there was always a way to go back. 

This is what shatterd, together with the felling of security. Even though we do live in permanent "special mode" for almost 2 years.

The Trams in Lwów still are running - and I have this most sensitive way of seeing public transportation working - however sometimes stops for extraordinary stops because of some air-raid sirens...

 

Today my heart broke. 

 

eLkłatro

Errol mar volt szo.
Eshat mivel toltom idomet ha nem fetrengessel meg a YouTube-al...

Peldaul:

SARAJEVO '84 the best Olympic Winter Games ever - Documentary

Žal se odkládá

Vojta w formie i to jakim!
Żal się odkłada na pózniej.... a my jedziemy do Prahy.
Co prawda jeśli w ogóle zdążymy na pociąg to ja myślę że następne wspomnienie będzie już samo Hlavni nadrazi.

Vinohrady, nadchodzimy!

Interim

Az evek koze. A legjobb ido mikor fogalmam sincs a napokrol vagy hogy kell-e menni barhova - mert nem kell.
Iden azert meg egy Namysłów belefert - eshat na, imadom.

Ev-fordulo

Egy csendes este a pultnal, otthon, Goval es Olaval, meg cseh csillagszorokkal :)

Swięta spokoj-Nie

Swięta bardzo nietypowe.
Nie pamiętam kiedy ostatnio było tak rodzinnie.
Babcia, Kuzynka, Wujostwo, i to wszyscy u siostry.

Nastąpiła zmiana - ta grupa która gada przy winie w kuchni bo tylko tam jest jakieś spokój to już my.
Dorosłość.

Zimówka

Zimowa domówka, w niespodziewane wolnym terminie.
Miało byc 5 osób - przyszło 25.
Głównie nowych, czyli osób którzy są w moim/naszym życiu od bardzo niedawna.

Z krat

Z Go sprzedawaliśmy dziś z krat.
Zrobione przez Go - na potrzeby targów przedświątecznych.

Átállások/Changes

Az agyam, miután kiütötte magát a többnapos intenziv pánikolásban és olyan helyekre tér vissza valamint vágyik amelyek pozitív érzelmi tartalmuk miatt fontosak.
Az a sejtésem hogy valamiféle biztonságérzethez kapcsolódnak ezek a helyek. (anyagi vagy érzelmi)

-----------------------------------
My braind and mind after a multi-days massive panic, finally knicked himself out and returning to places what are significant because of their connections to positive feelings.
Also suspecting that also connected to some-kind-of security. (financal or emotional)

Szeged, Budapest, Bécs, Brüsszel, London, Berlin, Gdynia, Lwów
...

As usual

The Berlin Game

The best ever game for a newyears eve.

This time with the boys and only till the half of the year, but I guess that was the harder and harsher part of the year so, its still fine.

And no. I will not promise the summary of last year. Did it already 2 times but never really written.

Newyearsplans

My Debrecen boys will come today and I am still not at the top op myself, but hopefully with them I get there.

Nahát

Ebben a nagy szabadságban aztán sikrült együtt tölteni némi időt és egy éjszakát is egy olyan fiúval aki itt már szerepelt és a "soselátomtöbbet" kategóriában van/volt, legalábbis ágyi értelemben biztos.

Nem volt rossz, de sajnos még mindig a saját maga és megszokásai foglya.

Plusz pont hogy nem emlékszem mikor mentem utoljára haza reggel bárhonnan.
Most vagy öregszem vagy formába lendülök.
A második opcióra szavaznék...

Waiting

Actually waiting to make the holiday ends. Yes. Not to start.

Or maybe I am just way to exhausted by my own dramas and tiredness to like to manage Mom plus my sis plus brother-in-law plus the child plus the 2! dogs.

Just let

it go.

I am tired of my own dramas and the fact that for the last 3 months I was more than preocupied with myself than ever.
Especially after such a summer and autumn I had. With people, moments, sunshine, laughs and good wine.

There is a slight chance to do that after - finally - I got my bosses on the cam and fighted for that hour to discuss.

We'll see.

Forrongas

Forrong bennem az igazsagtalansag.
Bar legjobban persze az faj amit a tomegrol mondott, igen a kulso pozitiv megerosites mindig is fontos volt, sose voltam magambafordulo es ott valaszokat kereso.

Most nem tom' mi van.
Meglatjuk.

Testimony

Till the very end and even after I was calm and cool.
I have know for moths that it will come, so definatelly there was a time to adjust.

But then, when I am home unpacking the things (tons of them... cause I am a freakin' collector...), well... then its just hit you:
That you will never be again at that flat near the station
That you just put the last berries from previous summer into the freezer - and you actually see that the berries were prepared to be in the freezer.... and you also know how it was on a warm and sunny sathurday when they did it....

You just know. Because they became the part of your life. Back then really quickly and they actually never wanted to leave. They still dont want. You do not want it either.
And the astonishing 2000 kilometers just and simply doesn't matter.

(and then you put Jantar on and cry)

1 eve

Pani Danuta juz tam, gdzies w góre. Oby bylo lekko....

Annak ellenere hogy nem vagyok vallasos, valahol biztos vagyok abban hogy fenntrol figyel.

Ez hallatszik...

I am more than weak if it comes abot the netherlandse pop....



Gordon - Ik bel je zomaar even op

Gordon - I'll just call you up.I now just have free time. 
it is not important but I have to lose something to you. 
I just want to know how you are doing. 
because when I get home I'm sure you're asleep. 
Your voice always makes me happy.and I promise you in the weekend I am free.
 Then we go walking along the beach with two of us. 
And then again to our favorite restaurant.

Chorus: 
So I'll just call you up. 
I have to tell you, I'm crazy about you. 
I'll just call you up. 
there is nothing on this earth that I love so much. 
It may be a strange moment.to say that you are everything to me. 
but I want you to know that I really mean it. 
I have to hear you because only is only alone.
you are my best friend for me.I also do not know where I have earned everything. 
When I look into your eyes, I see myself standing. 
then I see a cheerful person there and I look at you with a smile. 
Every time it turns out that you are always there for me. 
you are the only one who knows me completely. 
before I meet you I always ran against the wall. 
but since the day I know you, you are going through fire for me! 
Chorus: 
I'll just call you up.
I have to tell you I am crazy about you.
I'll just call you up.there is nothing on this earth that I love so much. 
I'll just call you up.I have to tell you I am crazy about you.
I'll just call you up.there is nothing on this earth that I love so much.

Call me by....

I do think that we reached the maximum, the apogeum and the end of anything a film can do, give and revards to you.

I do guess (what guess... I do know...) that its not only THE A-list film, but the ONE.

It is not leaving me for almost a week and hope it will never do.
Even tough that sweet-sorrow and huge thinking what's the aftermath.

Thats life, and the film showed the most impossible - our feelings, love, uncertanity, coming-of-age - the unspeakable.
And also, I did not speak at all recently, so it was kind of a slap on face to re-bound.... I am still not that convinced, but I definatelly dont want to be Oliver.... or Elio's Dad - in that absolutly quintessential speach at the end.

Just simply had no words more.

Orient express

One of the most heartrending films receintly, and that wonderful sorrow in the voice of Michelle Pfeifer:

Never forget:


And so, I do recommend the film - never seen before a that sexy Poirot - so definatelly new dimensions on the story. Anyway, my favourite from Agatha Christie.